IMPORTANT: The Reich is dead, off to Zanarkand we go…

No More Heroes Rabbits!

Breaking news from I, honey_bunny: yesterday, at 0900 hours, the Fuehrerbunker that funny_bunny cloistered himself in, was shelled heavily by an unknown force. It has been revealed today that the perpetrator is holstein; at last has she succeeded in her repeated attempts to kill the glorious leader.

With the Fuehrer‘s death, we must ask ourselves: who is fit to rule the Reich and its many dominions? The answer is NO ONE. As such, the Reich collapses. But fear not! We leave behind our legacy for all those who wish to follow our ideals. We may die in flesh, but YOU will storm the future!

But what of us lesser Rabbits? Are we all to depart to the moon as well? Certainly some have done as such; not all of us, however. We exist and I shall tell you how, for I am honey_bunny, full of pomp and importance! Without further adieu:

7672359440 “the Obsessive” – Stole the Fuehrer‘s corpse and fled to Argentina, never to be seen again.

Booberella “the Boobs” – Designed hoodies saying “I survived the Fuehrerbunker”. Sued by Holocaust victims which caused her shirt-making business to fail. Became a Catholic nun/assassin.

Bug Prince “the Twitch” – Died in the Fuehrerbunker when he refused to come out because he was this close to beating his Ibara high score.

D “the Malcolm X” – Died in the Fuehrerbunker at the first artillery round because he was the token black man.

edthefucker “the Asshole” – Wrote a series of books, fabricating the events within the last days of the Fuehrerbunker. Became a best-selling author of non-fiction until his lies were exposed and he was cut in half by a heartbroken fan.

Emily “the Semi-Commie” – Went streaking across China as a tribute to the Fuehrer; stole the Olympic torch in the process.

HERZOG “the Critique” – Drunk himself to death because his signed copy of Little Dieter Needs to Fly was destroyed in the Fuehrerbunker.

Kibbles&Mint “the Gourmand” – Died in the Fuehrerbunker because he was very uncool. Choked to death on a frankfurter.

La_Creame “the Cultured” – Was captured and executed for buying Oasis songs off Rock Band. Cultured my ass.

Nate-Dawg “the REAL Nate Dogg” – Welcomed into the underground hip-hop community. Started a rivalry with the actual Nate Dogg, was shot to death by unknown assailants outside an In-N-Out Burger.

Nyx “the Fucking Scary Ring Chick” – Ate the Fuehrer‘s soul. Went back into the Abyss.

Peking Duck “the Commie” – The collapse of the Reich only furthered her belief that the present day socialists were counter-revolutionary. At the 2008 Olympic Games, she led the Tibetans to overthrow the despotic Chinese government and established a great utopia known as El Ducko.

piss o baal “the Batshit Insane” – Watched Mega64 one too many times, causing him to believe the world is that of video games. Left in search of Zanarkand, killing Colossi/tall people along the way.

Whopper “the French” – Became a leaning-tower maker in a small Italian village.

puffismagix “the Addled” – Almost died in the Fuehrerbunker but simply lost his legs, which was ok because he didn’t move around much anyways. With a new outlook on life, he decided to single-handedly do a joint with Illuminati. That’s joint as in “j”, not “joint project”.

Q’ute “the Penny Pinching” – Robbed the Fuehrer‘s Paypal account, coming out with a total of $3 American. Invests that money in PS4 stock.

Tenki “the Suikoden Nut” – Believed the Gate Rune War to be occurring; she rallied together ex-Rabbits and began a war of conquest, taking the entire Antarctic.

trev “the Manly” – Inspired by the downfall of the Fuehrer, she created a hardcore death metal band, incurring the wrath of many Rabbits. Is assassinated through intense sexual pleasure, via the arts of Sister Booberella.

Trojan “the Easygoing” – Didn’t even realize the Reich had imploded until two months later. Bought a Meat Bun Typing of the Dead shirt to commemorate the occasion.

TrueMind “the Fury” – Totally didn’t care about the Fuehrer‘s death because she was too busy with her secret identity as a superhero. Killed Spiderman not long after.

zizzle “the Sleeping Bishie” – Trapped inside the dream forever. Fufufufufufu.

-_- “the Emotive” – ?_?

Barbarossa “the Lustful Drunk” – Encouraged by the Reich’s early successes, attempted to take the great land of Europe. Succeeded and pushed south through Africa but was halted at Madagascar by Tenki‘s Prinny army. Bloody war of attrition ensued.

Crunchy “the Nasty” – Joined Barbarossa in his crusade as his consort, only to defect to Tenki after seeing the cuteness that is the Prinny army. Took Africa with her.

knein “the Totally Normal and Not a Pervert” – Revealed himself to be a pervert as he sexualized the Fuehrer‘s corpse before anyone found it. Set on fire by 7672359440‘s sheer will.

Aerith’s Bitch “the Slave of Geek-Stuff” – Following the Fuehrer‘s death, he played Final Fantasy VII in despair over and over. Finally bucked up to join Tenki‘s army and became known as Aerithius Bitchio Africanus for leading legions of Prinnies into Africa and razing Tunis.

Killer Ink “the Observant” – Made the Fuehrer’s death mask, which was sold for megabux. Commissioned to paint agitprop for Peking Duck‘s brave new world.

Lavie Rhap “the Sisterly” – Built a working vanship and disappeared into the Grand Stream.

Mori “the Glasses” – Used the Reich as basis for her own nation, birthed out of Canada. Sought to impose cold Western rationale on the entire world, with shock troops, nuclear weapons, and space lasers to dispose all in her way.

Kawaii Pattycakes “the Japanophile” – Left to go to Japan, where she brought non-censored live yaoi into the mainstream consciousness. Still drew Etrian Odyssey doujinshi.

nde “the Detached” – Free of Rabbity business, he became a renowned pianist and ended up collaborating with people like Shoji Meguro, Yasunori Mitsuda, Hitoshi Sakimoto, and the ghost of Rachmaninoff.

prettyprophet “the Passionate” – Finished off the comic project of the Reich known only as The Republic, she then formed an awesome band that covered practically anything. Went into the Vortex World and led a demonic army against the True Enemy.

honey_bunny “the Peacemaker” – Deciding that the world was too chaotic for its own good, I chose to initiate the Conception. This occurred after the First Rabbit War (the victor was Trojan and his chillaxed smile).

holstein “the Forceful” – Committed seppuku immediately after killing the Fuehrer. However, since she was immortal, the disembowelment did nothing so she danced around in her blood and decided to kill honey_bunny next.

Great Moon Rabbit “the Mother and Father To Us All” – Watched all the events with benign amusement before raising the dead and creating a zombie apocalypse.

funny_bunny “the Whimsical” – Not actually dead. Eternally fighting the Subspace Army that threatens to spill into our world. Was a secret character in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

There you have it. THE REICH IS DEAD. THE REICH IS DEAD. Nothing but the absolute truth coming from the supple mouth of I, honey_bunny. Could I tell a lie? Of course not; I am honey_bunny, the responsible one of the triumvirate! I am orderly and clean! Who can oppose me?! You, stupid reader? Ha! I scoff! Haha! I laugh! You leechers are nothing but insignificant vermin to the likes of I, honey_bunny! I support NarutoFan! I support NarutoFan! I support NarutoFan! La li lu le lo! La li lu le lo! La li lu le lo!