ACHTUNG: Read or DIE WALKÜRE

The Reich is on the verge of implosion; for the love of the Moon Rabbit, fucking help us. NOT A JOKE.

prettyprophet: Hey, why the hell are you smiling? Like I said, not a joke. You expected to hit the jump and see funny here, dancing around like a fairy queen and whispering in a lisping voice, “This was a joke, teeheehee!” Well, you expected wrong, motherfucker.

funny_bunny: Nope, not a joke this time.

prettyprophet: See, funny recently spent a large amount of time talking with honey. Well, more like funny just spent hours blabbing on and on about his various ideas. Next thing you know, he decides to add ANOTHER factor into the Reich. Yeah, the idiot wants to start doing translations.

funny_bunny: Yep yep, of MANHUA.

prettyprophet: However, there’s pretty much zero support for this. Not because everyone disagrees, but rather everyone DOESN’T FUCKING KNOW ABOUT IT.

funny_bunny: I just told PP right now.

prettyprophet: Yeah, aside from honey and whoever else funny talked to earlier, we were in the dark. And fucking honey, that guy’s gone.

funny_bunny: Busy busy like a busy bee.

prettyprophet: Anyways, this is just an idea of funny’s. And we all know how long it takes for his ideas to get turned into matter; look at SBSB2D: CS for example.

funny_bunny: I can’t wait for chapter DEUX.

prettyprophet: Start fucking drawing then. I’ve got the script ready.

funny_bunny: But we can’t neglect our precious projects like Korean Illustration!

prettyprophet: Start fucking scanning then. I’ve got the usual cleaners ready.

funny_bunny: But I want to play games like Mana Khemia.

prettyprophet: And this is why I don’t think we’ll be scanlating anything soon. BUT, big fucking BUT…we will do it, although not with the class of the big bois like Kotonoha, and start working on manhua hardcore…IF, big fucking IF, other people buy it for us. Xiaopan, check it. Looking at either Deo.R’s Vampire, Ji Di’s My Way, or Benjamin’s whatever-he-does. If it’s Vampire, we’ll need a French translator, whom we totally lack within the Reich. Ji Di and Benjamin’s stuff are in French AND Chinese so depending who’s available, the translators will vary from ‘good enough’ to ‘totally rewritten’. And because all involve intense redrawing…frankly, we have no idea if we’re capable of dealing with that shit. I’m going to go out on a limb and say we’re not.

funny_bunny: But I REALLY want to try!

prettyprophet: Ultimately, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because we’re not going to fucking buy the books. We’re not going to buy the books because we can’t afford it. Oh yeah, we can afford stuff; I’m buying a guitar next week…but we can’t afford THE REICH.

funny_bunny: I haven’t bought new artbooks in a LOOOOOOOOOOOONG time!

prettyprophet: Again, I want to emphasize the fact that practically all the books come from funny and out of his wallet. I contributed the Okama Moon Rabbit book; that’s my part. Oh, and then there’s all the work I’m putting into this mess. Lavie bought the Persona 3 book and then we decided it was unnecessary. Pat’s saving up for a PS3, nde hasn’t bought anything since 1999, Ink’s gone recluse, ed’s a miserly motherfucker, and none of the other Rabbits would ever think of the Reich as a financial affair.

funny_bunny: We want to buy other stuff. At least I do!

prettyprophet: For some fucked up reason, funny has just gone through a fucking weird phase where he was immensely generous to us. He bought me Harvest Moon: Magical Melody and nde ICO. Pat got all his keychains, Lavie got to borrow his Dreamcast indefinitely, Emily got a cake, and…as far as I know, that was it. You know, I shouldn’t be surprised, you do this sorta deal every so often.

funny_bunny: I don’t know why! IT’S COMPULSIVE.

prettyprophet: And this is why funny’s broke.

funny_bunny: You know…I did buy more stuff.

prettyprophet: Oh fuck, for who?

funny_bunny: Hoho! Wouldn’t you like to know…

prettyprophet: No, I wouldn’t. Anyways, I guess this is just another plea from funny to have you guys paypal us some cash. Hey, fuck that, even if it’s getting sent to his account, he WILL buy me shit. I demand it.

funny_bunny: First we get manhua! BENJAMIN!!!

prettyprophet: I think we should just stick with artbooks. I want to do either Minako Iwasaki’s or another Okama. Fuck, do I have an Okama fetish or what?

funny_bunny: What about GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS? This one has the beloved TONY TAKA!

prettyprophet: Yeah! Let me just whip out my Visa and order 30 copies! One for each member of the Reich!

funny_bunny: Cool! Do I get one?

prettyprophet: No. You get a Holiday Inn pen. Alright, emails.

funny_bunny: GMAILS.

prettyprophet: The very first we got here is…from the poor fellow we picked out from a while back! His name is Rick J. and may as well be Rick James. Remember him? He asked about the romantic progress between me and funny and I flat out said it was going nowhere.

funny_bunny: PP chose the wrong conversation paths and went to the bad ending.

prettyprophet: Yeah, what a shame. But Rick James took it all in stride like a good sport and said:

“Ha ha ha, yeah, I guess it was a weird question. But we’re on the internet so weird stuff shouldn’t surprise, right? So I have another question relating to your situation: how does a guy stay ‘just’ friends with a girl? Because I can’t.”

Well Rick, I really don’t know. A lot of these bums I deal with, I’ve known for years and see often enough to get fed up with them. It’s like we’re all married in some sick, sick, sick cult, only instead of pedophile rape and mass suicide, we just hang out and have gaming marathons. I think that’s pretty much the general vibe with the Rabbits.

funny_bunny: Not me! It’s all about being sexually ambiguous!

prettyprophet: funny just won’t commit. And I don’t mean that in a bad way. All I’m saying is that he does his own thing and if you’re not going with him, he’s gone. No, I don’t speak from experience, you bastards.

funny_bunny: I could never sex you up! Think of what that’d do to nde!

prettyprophet: Yeah, imagine your best friend fucking your sister. “Oh, now you’re brothers!” It’s funny because we have no idea what nde’s opinion is of any of this. Even though he’s sleeping just down the hall.

funny_bunny: Maybe he’s listening and feverishly pleasuring himself to us talk.

prettyprophet: How can he hear us? We’re typing.

funny_bunny: Well, you know, I’m saying some stuff out loud. SOME STUFF. LIKE NDE IS A SEXY THANG AND I WANT TO PLUNGE MY TONGUE INTO HIS THROAT.

prettyprophet: Next email’s from mr.christin, whose name I hope is a reference to the awesome Ys series. I have a habit of pronouncing it as why’s…I guess I’m a heathen.

funny_bunny: BURN THE HERETIC.

prettyprophet: Fuck off, you say it like that too.

funny_bunny: Only to you!

prettyprophet: So this is what mr.christin asks:

“Do you think you guys will ever do Robot again?”

funny, I’ll let you take this.

funny_bunny: NOPE, NEVER AGAIN.

prettyprophet: Heh, there you go.

funny_bunny: Too hard to scan!

prettyprophet: Plus you’d be the one to do all the work. Maybe if another book decides to fall apart, but I doubt that’s happening. Alright, here’s another from Vincent W.:

“Your a bunch of faggot racist fucks and im offended that wordpress lets this shti slid.”

He goes on but there’s no point in putting up the rest. Thanks Vince! FYI, I’m a chink, so naturally I’m a racist cunt. I think funny’s a chink too, so again, racist. It’s hard to tell what he is though, since those fucking Asians all look alike.

funny_bunny: My contacts say China is spreading SARS and FOBS to Alaska and killing and eating all the penguins there.

prettyprophet: Antarctica, dumbass. No penguins in the Northern Hemisphere.

funny_bunny: Duh, FOBS eat them.

prettyprophet: Anyways, Vince, I’m not sure what offended you. I’m guessing it’s whatever ed said because he’s pretty hateful. Not racist though, since he hates everyone equally. Except white people. Lots of hate for white people.

funny_bunny: Maybe it’s the Reich thing! I thought it was cute!

prettyprophet: Ohhh yeah, nothing’s cuter than goose-stepping jack-booted sturmtruppens. And finally, Bill V. has the last email:

“From what I read, seems the Rabbit Reich doesn’t like anime all that much…but you’re scanning it. What’s up with that? Do you even have favorite anime? Just wondering because I think you guys rock for doing Korean Illustration (I got the Sweet Body ones too, but I’m not a fan of Happobi Jin…fun passwords though).”

funny_bunny: Now now, we’re not scanning ANIME. We’re scanning artbooks!

prettyprophet: I get what Bill’s saying. Yeah, unlike many other groups, we’re not THAT entrenched in the whole “Japan, fuck yeah” mentality. It’s all about having variety, right fun buns?

funny_bunny: Right right! A lil’ Japan love here, a lil’ French love there, and plenty of luscious latino booty.

prettyprophet: But some of us DO have favorite anime. I’ll list off some that I know:

nde = My Neighbor Totoro
Lavie Rhap = Last Exile
Pat = fucking anything, that Japanophile slut
ed = Eva. No, I’m fucking serious…although he likes it for very different reasons
Mori = None. Period.
Nyx = Fruits Basket
Peking Duck = Pokemon
Ink = Princess Mononoke
Trojan = Pokemon
Whopper = Pokemon
Kibbles&Mint = Gundam
Emily = Zoids, but only because he loves to make them
me = FLCL

funny_bunny: And here’s some from more members!

Aerith’s Bitch = Eva!
Tenki = Kare Kano!
Barbarossa = Baccano!
Crunchy = Blood+!
-_- = Lain!
honey = None!
holstein = No reply!
…and MOI? I’ll say……FOOLY COOLY AS WELL!

prettyprophet: Awww, really? Whatever happened to Persona Trinity Soul?

funny_bunny: AHHHH, MARK OF EVIL.

prettyprophet: Bill, I hope this helped you understand life. If you don’t, all you have to know is just this one word: plastics.

funny_bunny: So today’s post was to say this: I want money! For a PS3! I mean, to buy manhua/artbooks!

prettyprophet: You know, I looked around, and no one sells PS3s through paypal.

funny_bunny: There goes that plan!

prettyprophet: Yeah, we also decided that ACHTUNG’s will occur every other week, just so you dear readers will get to know what’s going on. We’ll probably work on the fifth Korean Illustration chapter next.

funny_bunny: And maybe more Calamity! And I FIGURED IT OUT. CALAMITY COMES FROM BLAZBLUE. Danke, Crunchy!

prettyprophet: Hit us up with more emails; I can’t wait for someone to ask what color panties I’m wearing! Joke’s on you! I’m not wearing any!

funny_bunny: Now that’s-a spicy meatball!