Liberty, Lunacy, Love

MOTHERFUCKING IMPORTANT: How far does the Rabbit Hole go?

If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh?

Read this shit ASAP or GTFO.

Alright, listen up homies. The Reich’s dead in the water because funny’s scanner got fucked. Want us to continue Korean Illustration and Sweet Body? Give us $100 and we’ll get a new scanner. Yeah, we can wait until funny gets it fixed, IF he gets it fixed.

“Hey cuntrags, don’t you have other scanners? There’s a million of you!” No, dickhead. We don’t. Anyone who’s willing to scan has shit scanners, worse than funny’s if you can believe it.

But oh snap! What’s this? funny DOES have another scanner. A shit scanner! Well, it’s not that bad, but it’s impossible to scan at 600dpi. That kinda fucks up our manifesto, doesn’t it? So here’s the 411: we’re doing side projects until we get a main scanner again. Simple as that.

Enter the Rabbit Raws and The Club Cowslip.

Rabbits Raws = raws of whatever NON-PORN doujinshi funny has. No, we’re not really editing them or anything. Crop, rotate, level, resize. He’s got RO, Tsukihime, and two other things no one can identify. Non-porn? What the fuck kinda doujinshi is that?

The Club Cowslip = ohhh, so THAT’s where all the sex’s at. Bizarrely enough, I think most of them are originals…although there’s one funny won’t let me talk about because “it’s a special surprise for someone”. I’m just going to say this: if funny EVER acts even more eccentric than usual…don’t bother anticipating anything. Sometimes he’ll spring the most fucked-up shit you’ll never expect, sometimes he’ll be so anti-climatic you’ll cry. Just know that he has SOMETHING.

That said, I wonder how much funny will eventually blow on doujinshi. Pat, that Japanophile slut, convinced him to buy some and now he’s gone doujin dayz. Pat, that Japanophile slut, who loves her own collection so much she keeps everything in plastic wrap and boxes. She has FIRST EDITION hentai from Comic Market despite never breathing Asian air. She got a Phoenix Wright yaoi within a week of the release. I don’t know who her contacts are but she probably pays a fortune for this. Why am I venting about Pat? Because she’s dragging funbuns down a dark path and is contributing to the delay in getting a new scanner. Hell, we asked funny where he was getting his doujinshi and he wouldn’t tell because he wanted to keep it ALL for himself. I guess Pat probably knows but she’s even more fanatical so what the fuck.

And now for something semi-different: Villa Leporidae. It’s funny’s geek site. Conceived as the “light side” to the “after dark” Club Cowslip, it pretty much got the designation of being a blog for figures and various weirdo commentary by funny himself. Naturally, some other Rabbits will crowbar their way in. In fact, I already have. Hey, I’m also running The Club Cowslip, aren’t I? May as well take over everything else.

So that’s our situation. As much as we’d like to do our projects, we can’t. Maybe by the end of the summer funny will scrounge up enough to get a scanner; I seriously don’t know because his spending habits are confusing. I asked, “What the fuck am I going to tell the kiddo leechers?” “Oh, just tell them to be patient because…you know me! I buy lots of stuff!” No, funny, I don’t know you. God, you’re such a hassle to deal with.

“Hey, why don’t YOU, oh beautiful PR Rabbit, spend some money?” Hey, FUCK YOU. That’s why. I haven’t spent a cent on the Reich and I don’t plan on ever. Like I keep saying, we aren’t your usual scanlation group. funny’s the only person actually willing to constantly spend on the Reich; everyone else has their own lives to deal with. I may be a nosy cunt but ultimately, funny’s the one who owns the show. We just help, that’s all.

Now chillax yo, I doubt the Reich’s dying yet. funny still has artbooks to scan and doujinshi to draw. We just won’t be releasing any “official” projects anytime soon. See, THIS is why I keep saying “pay attention to the blog, not Manga-Updates” because there’s a lot we can still do; it just won’t be Manga-Updatable. Fuck it, not like those people will even read this. Anyways, donate or don’t, it doesn’t matter. The Reich’s still active, albeit in different ways.

Here, have some great words from the Chief Rabbit:

funny_bunny: You know, I still haven’t played Pat’s PS3 yet.

prettyprophet: What the fuck is up with that? Everyone knows you’re salivating for one.

funny_bunny: But that would mean I’d stay at Pat’s FOREVER! Don’t you think ed would get all iffy?

prettyprophet: No, you can distract her while he’s doing some random chick.

funny_bunny: But Pat’s pretty freaky.

prettyprophet: Yeah, I don’t know why I still hang around her.

funny_bunny: Very exuberant.

prettyprophet: Yeah, I guess spunk counts.

funny_bunny: Spunk!

prettyprophet: No, funny, fucking no. Now say something for our readers.

funny_bunny: Etrian Odyssey II is super! MY PARTY IS VERY ACCURATE TO LIFE!

prettyprophet: What’d I say? The Reich’s just fine.

2 Comments

  1. JuN says:

    hope it get fixed soon…

  2. kiddo leecher says:

    Bad times with the ganked scanner, loving the stuff you were doing, hope the rabbit lives on.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>