VALKYRIA DLC ATTACKS.
prettyprophet: It fucking rocks. If you have Valkyria, get it. If you don’t, get a PS3, get Valkyria, then download it.
nde: They should probably beat it first.
prettyprophet: Yeah, probably. So I’ve got a final tomorrow…fuck that, I played Selvaria’s AND Edy’s DLC. They’re both awesome. I know, $5, that’s a little steep…but it’s Valkyria. And if this encourages Sega to make more (SKIES OF MOTHERFUCKING ARCADIA), I’m gonna toss ’em bones. SHUT IT YOU CUNTS, I did study, I’ll be fine, SHUT IT FUNNY, KEEP CLEANING ACONY, YOU’RE DONE, YOU DON’T HAVE ANY EXCUSES.
nde: I bought the Edy Detachment DLC. Prophet bought Selvaria’s.
prettyprophet: I was iffy on Edy since it’s only one map compared to Selvaria’s…maps. I don’t want to spoil anything, so whatever. Anyways, nde wanted to chip in on VC stuff since I was the one who paid for the whole game; I was going to buy Selvaria regardless. You get a MG if you A-rank all of her’s…nothing if you A-rank Edy.
nde: For Edy, different endings for different ranks.
prettyprophet: Technically both DLC’s are fanservice filled…but Edy’s is total fanservice. I’m not talking upskirt shit; just clean fun. So if you like Edy (minor spoilers), Homer, Lynn, Susie, Jann, and Marina, you’ll love this DLC. Homer and Marina. They’re great. Jann? Japanese makeup-wearing bears? Little too obvious.
nde: Homer has subtlety, then?
prettyprophet: Hold up, I can’t believe we haven’t talked about this yet: Rabbits in Valkyria, who would we be? Actually fuck that, we could just be ourselves.
nde: No, Lavie talked about this.
prettyprophet: When the hell was that?
nde: Some time ago.
prettyprophet: We need to get Funny to draw some shit. Too bad it’ll suck. [funny edit: nonsense, IT’LL BE FANTASTIC. I can be Hans!]
nde: He’s busy working on this thing.
nde: This other thing.
prettyprophet: Oh god. Ok, let’s talk about the Edy scenario itself. Basically your squad of six is on its own and you have to defend a town. Simple as that.
nde: If any enemy enters your base area, you lose.
prettyprophet: No retreat, no redeploy, no medics, no orders. Just what you got.
nde: I think default equipment and levels are transferred over from the main game.
prettyprophet: Yeah, I think so too, since I tried to give Lynn the badass machinegun but it didn’t work. What we mean by default is whatever your levels are as of playing the DLC. Like, we’d cleared the game twice over, so we’re maxed out…Edy’s DLC wasn’t as challenging as it may be for others thanks to that. Then again, I watched nde B-rank it first, so I figured out how to A-rank on my turn.
nde: As for Selvaria’s…
prettyprophet: I used a guide for the second map. I was like, “Fuck, I’ll just A-rank it first, get the machinegun.”
nde: Somewhat somber. Melancholy.
prettyprophet: Hey, not with that one scene. Huh, wink, nudge?
prettyprophet: Don’t tell me you missed that.
nde: Missed what?
prettyprophet: I’ll show you later. If you’re a Selvaria fan, download this. I kinda am; the whole “oh I love you Max but I know you’re just using me” is meh but fuck that, she’s awesome. Really wish her boobs weren’t designed for horndogs. And for our readers, nde just gave me one of his “you-have-no-idea-what-the-fuck-I’m-thinking” looks because he thinks I’m about to go off on Valkyria’s female character designs. I’m not. They’re very fucking impractical. That’s all I’m gonna say. That’s all I have to say. Kid, shut the fuck up.
nde: I haven’t played “Behind Her Blue Flame” yet. I watched.
prettyprophet: Think you’ll A-rank?
nde: Maybe. Usually the easiest. But tactically unsound.
prettyprophet: And how. So that’s nde and Prophet, giving you impressions on two of Valkyria Chronicles’s DLC packs: “Enter the Edy Detachment” and “Behind Her Blue Flame”. Didn’t get the Hard-EX mode because we haven’t even touched the hard skirmishes yet. I guess I’ll get to that after I finish Absence of Justice.
nde: Maybe when it drops in price.
prettyprophet: They cost $5 a pack. Selvaria’s is definitely worth it since it’s more than one map and gives you a gun and further characterization…Hard-EX (or Hard-SEX as Funny loves to call it) we don’t know about, maybe Funny or Pat bought it [funny edit: NAW SON……Pat’s not getting it either because she suxxx at Valkyria! SUCKS FALDIO’S PENIS!] but since it changes up your tactics completely and gives you new weapons to use, it’s got the most literal bang for your buck…and Edy, get only if you like those soldiers involved. Otherwise, pray that Sega decides to make more DLC with people you DO like.
nde: That probably depends on how many people buy the DLC though. Sadly.
prettyprophet: What are you complaining about? You got Susie and Marina. Don’t try to hide your lust.
prettyprophet: I’d do him. But that’d be statutory rape. And he’d love it. Seriously though, Aika and Vyse. Let’s get those Skies of Arcadia kids in and maybe Sega’ll give us more rocked out RPGs like Nintendo did with Fire Emblem (even though I hate Roy, Marth, and Ike).
nde: I’m going to sleep.
prettyprophet: And I’M going to listen to Olivia’s latest single, “Sailing Free”, play more Valkyria, and whip Funny into cleaning.
nde: I think he’s playing VC as well.
prettyprophet: Vietcong, The Other Side, Love Love Love, close your eyes, we’re all under the same sky, you have me, whoever you are, I…love you…
nde: Not studying anymore?
Images from some MU link of the preorder artbook. Hey, send us Valkyria doujinshi. Seriously.
Tags: behind her blue flame, dlc, edy, enter the edy detachment, fanservice, gallian front, geek, hard sex mode, impressions, minor spoilers, ps3, rpg, sega, selvaria, valkyria chronicles, valkyrur, valkyur